Guide to Understanding and Managing Shame

A Guide to Understanding & Managing Shame: Supporting Children in Residential Care

Shame is one of the most powerful and least understood emotions. For children who have experienced trauma, it can be triggered by everyday words and situations, and often shows up as withdrawal, people-pleasing, lying or rage.

This guide explains what shame is, how to recognise it, and how adults can respond in ways that reduce it. It includes common phrases that can trigger shame, alternative scripts for younger children, older children and teenagers, and a section on why staff wellbeing plays such an important part in a shame-aware home.

The Guide includes the following: - What Is Shame and Why It Matters in Residential Care - How to Recognise Shame: The Shields Against Shame - Words and Situations That Can Trigger Shame - Scripts for Addressing Shame Triggers - Building Shame Resilience Through Safe Accountability - The Importance of Staff Wellbeing